Right now I have 4 pg women around me and it SCARES me.
Every time I hear of another pg that is within a month of my due day it scares me, because I always feel that I could loose mine and they will go on and have a healthy baby.
With all my other pg’s I have been pg with other people and I was always the one to loose, I try to stay positive but I can’t help thinking those bad thoughts, yeah yeah I know you can shake me, pinch me, yell at me to stop thinking those thoughts but the truth is once you’ve had some losses those bad thoughts take over no matter how hard you try to push them out they always come back full force.
My sister called me this morning to tell not only is she going to be an auntie from me but she is going to be a great aunt as well, her Dh’s nephew wife is expecting a month before me and all that went thru my mind is another pg another mark against me, (don’t get me wrong I am happy for them) I know bad way of thinking, but this is how I feel.
I am always happy to here of others wonderful news but all in all other people’s pg scares me. I get scared for ME but I also get scared for them especially when they have not suffered infertility or losses I don’t want anyone to go thru that, they don’t know the pain, frustration and confusion that can happen they are just plain happy and excited the way I wish I could be but that has been tainted more then once.
I was looking in what would be our baby’s nursery over the weekend knowing it will not be decorated till the baby is in our arms safe and sound and safe from my body, I guess I don’t want to jinx myself then have an empty room so right now it is my craft room.
On a good note my pants are tighter, my little Precious heart is still beating away at 173bpm.
Since telling one of the Owners here at work about my pg he has not asked me to make him tea/coffee…lol…. He gets it himself. Nobody wants me to do anything and well that is just fine with me.
- This Journal will be about TTC with infertility,
Highs lows just everything involved with our journey for our baby.
Discovered after 2nd loss that I Have Unicornuate Uterus Right ovary buy my ribs,
left behind uterus. Can only get pg from the left side.
^i^ 6weeks 8/24/00
^i^ 12weeks 6/7/01 ^i^
^i^ 9weeks 11/6/02, ectopic pg
^i^ William Clement was born to us silently on Dec 21, 2003(He was 19weeks)
^i^ on Aug 31/04 @ 10.5weeks Mini-we Baby Girl 
- You Just Never Know...
- Oh to be a 40's Torch Singer
- 3outta5
- Days of Deerledge
- Planet Jules
- Happily Ever After
- Ramblings From Robin
- Our Journey
- As Zach and Ryan's world Turns
- Life with a Bazillion Kids
- Rebecca's Blog
- Sarah's Random Thoughts
- Tantrum Town
- The Life and Times of Maureen
- Our Journey "Surrogacy"
- Opinionated mother of two TTC #3
- Rantings of a Late Night Mama
- Who links to me?
- I got the call way sooner then I expected...
- Thump a Thump a Thump.....
- "My Name"
- IVIG today
- Oh Happy Day!! (u/s update...).
- YaHoo I just got....
- Got to love Canadian weather...
- It has been a few days....
- Ultrasound Photos
- Ultrasound update.....
design: OMI Ripped, by nakaithus
Monday, April 04, 2005
6:00 p.m.
Sheri: I know it's soooooo hard to have not a worry when loss is uppermost in the thoughts. I can so relate to what you are saying about hearing about others' pregnancies. Being happy, but at the same time scared shitless. Please know I'm thinking of you Yvette and praying that all goes well for you and Precious.Post a Comment
