so far they are:
12dpo ~ 61
14dpo ~ 154
18dpo ~ 657
(DPO ~ Days Past Ovultation)
They are happy with the #, She said they are well within range....Yippee!
I still have a long way to go but so far so GOOD!
I am back at work today..................
- This Journal will be about TTC with infertility,
Highs lows just everything involved with our journey for our baby.
Discovered after 2nd loss that I Have Unicornuate Uterus Right ovary buy my ribs,
left behind uterus. Can only get pg from the left side.
^i^ 6weeks 8/24/00
^i^ 12weeks 6/7/01 ^i^
^i^ 9weeks 11/6/02, ectopic pg
^i^ William Clement was born to us silently on Dec 21, 2003(He was 19weeks)
^i^ on Aug 31/04 @ 10.5weeks Mini-we Baby Girl 
- You Just Never Know...
- Oh to be a 40's Torch Singer
- 3outta5
- Days of Deerledge
- Planet Jules
- Happily Ever After
- Ramblings From Robin
- Our Journey
- As Zach and Ryan's world Turns
- Life with a Bazillion Kids
- Rebecca's Blog
- Sarah's Random Thoughts
- Tantrum Town
- The Life and Times of Maureen
- Our Journey "Surrogacy"
- Opinionated mother of two TTC #3
- Rantings of a Late Night Mama
- Who links to me?
- PLEASE DO NOT SPAM ME!
- Starting a new Blog..a new chapter...
- Orion's special Quilt....
- Orion's Dr update
- Orion's party (Baby shower)
- Picture of my boy
- Went to Fertility Clinic today
- Orion Dr update
- DH is wonderful...
- Orion meets his new Dr....
design: OMI Ripped, by nakaithus
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
GUESS What!!!
My BREASTs are SORE!!! my breasts or sore!!!
They were not sore with my last pg, so I am taking this a a good sign since I have not got my call back for the clinic about my #'s from yesterday, guess they don't know just how bad I WANT those #'s.... they don't get it!
I am addicted to HCG #'s
I am feeling somewhat better today I can keep my eyes open longer without getting all teared up and running for a kleenex and I can breathe better too.
They were not sore with my last pg, so I am taking this a a good sign since I have not got my call back for the clinic about my #'s from yesterday, guess they don't know just how bad I WANT those #'s.... they don't get it!
I am addicted to HCG #'s
I am feeling somewhat better today I can keep my eyes open longer without getting all teared up and running for a kleenex and I can breathe better too.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
My HCG #
at 14dpo is 154 at 12dpo I was at 61 I am still within range, the nurse said a bit low but still doubling. Did another HCG today should now the results tomorrow. Then every Tuesday after that till I am 12weeks
Did the IVIG today as well. When I woke up this morning I still felt like crap so I called work said I can not come in today then I called the Hospital to make sure it was still ok for me to come in since I have a nasty head cold they said it was fine. Had to be at the hospital for 1pm I thought it was at 1:30pm good thing I doubled checked.
When I got there the nurses felt sorry for me because I was all stuffed up my eyes are red and puffy I looked the way I felt! When they got me all hooked up I tried to rest sleep but there was two other patients in the room who were talking quiet loud so not much sleep for me plus with the nurses coming in every 15min to check my blood pressure if I remember correctly my blood pressure is quiet low ranges between 102/61 to 97/60.
I was down by 3pm my drive home was so hard my eyes and nose were going crazy I just wanted to sleep, as you can see I made it home safely made some potatoe soup and spinach salad and now it is time for me to rest..
Next IVIG is on March 22 @1pm I will be 8w pg.
Monday, February 21, 2005
I told my Mum
Like I said when we went over she try to give me some kind of medicine so I told her I can't have any She said oh yeah (she was thinking of my fertility meds) So I said no not just because of that and I just looked at her she then grabed my leg and said you pregnant! your pregnant! her face just lit up.
It was funny because later on that night my step-dad said you should try this Cold FX stuff, my mum yells from the kitchen "she can not have anything!" Why is it that mums hear things when you don't think they can but when they can the don't hear it....selective hearing??
I am still fighting my cold not sure if I have pinkeye as well I am a bit better today hopefully I am better for work tomorrow and for the IVIG I hope they still take me if I am not feeling well.
It was funny because later on that night my step-dad said you should try this Cold FX stuff, my mum yells from the kitchen "she can not have anything!" Why is it that mums hear things when you don't think they can but when they can the don't hear it....selective hearing??
I am still fighting my cold not sure if I have pinkeye as well I am a bit better today hopefully I am better for work tomorrow and for the IVIG I hope they still take me if I am not feeling well.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
I'm sick...........
My head is hurting, my eyes are watery my nose is nonstop ..I have a Kleenex permanently attached to me! It started yesterday my nose kept running then today.....I fell like CRAP.
I have not been sick for so long the second I get PG bang this cold finds me..
I am actually having a hard time seeing the computer screen.
Going to Dinner to my mums tonight DH is helping them with the computer & I know she is going to try to give me some medicine (she is my mum) so I am going to have to tell them that I am pg. They will be happy but my mum will worry about us. I know she is looking forward to her baby having a baby. She has felt guilty with all my Infertility problems feels like she did something wrong when pg with me, when she did nothing wrong it is just the way I was to be made.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Well now that I am PG (Pregnant)
I have moved on to the next level of obsessing (Now if you have experienced any kind of infertility you will know where I am coming from)
I have gone from checking my temperature every morning hoping to catch O then obsess till AF comes and if she comes I start all over again next month....and so on ..... and so on..... until you get that
I now obsess over every little twitch, check the TP (toilet paper) for "spot" afraid of another m/c (miscarriage) to scared to fantasies about the future a feeling of this being to good to be true yet hoping and praying that this one is it.
Your brain, well mine does MESS with me!
But today I a PREGNANT!
I have gone from checking my temperature every morning hoping to catch O then obsess till AF comes and if she comes I start all over again next month....and so on ..... and so on..... until you get that
I now obsess over every little twitch, check the TP (toilet paper) for "spot" afraid of another m/c (miscarriage) to scared to fantasies about the future a feeling of this being to good to be true yet hoping and praying that this one is it.
Your brain, well mine does MESS with me!
But today I a PREGNANT!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Clinic Finally called. my # is in.
My File was in the wrong area, she apologized for it...
My HCG @ 12dpo(days past ovulations) ( 3 weeks 4 days) is 61 she said that is great, the range is 50-340 so far so good looks like I will be doing the IVIG Tuesday the 22 @1pm....
OMG!!!! I am shaking, I just told my boss he said I sure hope this works for you this time.
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!
Of course I am PG because I just bought my 12w pass for Jazzercise ...lol.... not sure if I will be doing that now, want to take care of my Precious I don't want to be Jumping, running, twisting and stretching KWIM....
OMG! OMG! OMG! I still can not believe it!
I go for another HCG tomorrow I won't know the results of that one till Tuesday because here in Canada Monday is Family Day which means Monday is a holiday. Then I go every Tuesday for HCG till I am 12week along.
My u/s (ultrasound) is on March 8 at 1pm
I still have to tell my Family
----
IVIG is on Tuesday 22 @ 1pm
My HCG @ 12dpo(days past ovulations) ( 3 weeks 4 days) is 61 she said that is great, the range is 50-340 so far so good looks like I will be doing the IVIG Tuesday the 22 @1pm....
OMG!!!! I am shaking, I just told my boss he said I sure hope this works for you this time.
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!
Of course I am PG because I just bought my 12w pass for Jazzercise ...lol.... not sure if I will be doing that now, want to take care of my Precious I don't want to be Jumping, running, twisting and stretching KWIM....
OMG! OMG! OMG! I still can not believe it!
I go for another HCG tomorrow I won't know the results of that one till Tuesday because here in Canada Monday is Family Day which means Monday is a holiday. Then I go every Tuesday for HCG till I am 12week along.
My u/s (ultrasound) is on March 8 at 1pm
I still have to tell my Family
----
IVIG is on Tuesday 22 @ 1pm
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Gave DH the news & Spoke with a Nurse from the Clinic
still two lines and a + this morning.
I said to DH your are good.... do you want to know how good you are.... he was like what are you talking about??? so I showed him the CBE test.... he just looked at me said your PG? Then the whole night he kept looking at me funny you could see the smile in his eyes....
PLEASE let the be the ONE
I also started my progesterone last night now on to 3x a day
I spoke with the Nurse at the Clinic and I go for blood today get results tomorrow then I go every Tuesday till 12w, they will let me know tomorrow when to start the IVIG
The nurse congatulated me then said I should set up an appt with my regular Dr...I said no, Dr S always watches me till 12w then she wants me to see DR O because he is familiar with the IVIG for PG women. She just said Oh...hmmm....I could hear her going thru my file then said oh yes your right you will talk with them tomorrow when you call for your HCG results.
I think I am still in denial...
hope for great #'s
I said to DH your are good.... do you want to know how good you are.... he was like what are you talking about??? so I showed him the CBE test.... he just looked at me said your PG? Then the whole night he kept looking at me funny you could see the smile in his eyes....
PLEASE let the be the ONE
I also started my progesterone last night now on to 3x a day
I spoke with the Nurse at the Clinic and I go for blood today get results tomorrow then I go every Tuesday till 12w, they will let me know tomorrow when to start the IVIG
The nurse congatulated me then said I should set up an appt with my regular Dr...I said no, Dr S always watches me till 12w then she wants me to see DR O because he is familiar with the IVIG for PG women. She just said Oh...hmmm....I could hear her going thru my file then said oh yes your right you will talk with them tomorrow when you call for your HCG results.
I think I am still in denial...
hope for great #'s
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Do you see what I see.....
I am a tad freaked right now, once again they tell me wrong side O'ing (ovulating) and look what I see ..... I am scared.
My hope is rising but a am to scared to let it get to high. I what to cry, spot also paid me a visit yesterday
I know by posting this you may think I am jumping the gun but hey after 5 pg (pregnancies & 5 losses) this being my 6th nothing is going to change if I post this now or later.
Looks like a EDD of Oct/28/2005
I pray this is my miracle.
I so hope this test was not a bust..
------
I took another test a CBE (celar Blue Easy) at lunch and yup +. Gosh I still have to tell DH....
I still have one more CBE and 2 no name brand to try out so I have 3 more altogether ... lol
Brown spot is still hanging about.
I'm scared to tell DH, scared to call the Dr because I am only on CD11
Well I'm just SCARED!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
I find myself thinking about how innocent I was
When I was younger not knowing what my journey would be, I always thought that I would meet a wonderful man get married have 3 babies.
When I was a little girl I’d play with dolls pretending I was a mummy. I remember being in my early teens talking to my best friend (who still is one of my best friends) about where we would be in the year 2000, Saying we’d be 28yrs OLD thinking that was old…lol. We also said that we’d have our 1st baby before 30 of course we’d be married too. Well it is now 2005 we were both married before 30 & yes we were both pg before 30 only she had her baby while I gained an angel not knowing that would be the 1st of many ^i^’s not knowing the pain, the anger, disappointment, frustration the feeling of being a failure & most of all jealousy that would follow after experiencing my 2nd loss and be trailing behind me for the years to come. As the years moved on our friends have had their 1st or 2nd babies while we struggled with yet another loss. I felt alone because no one knew my/our pain they could not understand they tried but they would never know.
I find myself when we are around our friends that I watch them with a strong longing hoping it does not show on my face wishing it were I feeding, playing or trying to calm my screaming baby. I hear people complain about there children of how frustrated they are with them, I would take there spot in a second. I now everyone has there days but I also see people that always just look annoyed with there kids.
When we meet new people we don’t ask them if they have children because you just don’t know what their history is. I would not want to put another person in that spot if they are suffering the pain we have and still are. I don’t want to make their heart heavier I don’t want to make her tummy feel emptier. Because really that is the way we feel when asked you have no kids yet, what is taking so long? Really we are trying.
I feel I have become another person thru this journey; I have learnt to hold my head high keep my hope alive and have so much fear inside. Strange enough this journey has made me a better person, I have found new amazing friends and learned so many things that I just never would of known if I was not put on this path this journey. I now know I am not alone there are many women out there that have the same pain, we have been able to help each other when the others around do not know what to say or do for us.
It just still amazes me of what I did not know. You just don’t know your path in life you think your going one way then with a blink of an eye your going another way. I now don’t know what my future holds for me I hope to be a mummy one day soon and that is where I keep the “hope alive” when I really don’t know if I ever will be.
When I was a little girl I’d play with dolls pretending I was a mummy. I remember being in my early teens talking to my best friend (who still is one of my best friends) about where we would be in the year 2000, Saying we’d be 28yrs OLD thinking that was old…lol. We also said that we’d have our 1st baby before 30 of course we’d be married too. Well it is now 2005 we were both married before 30 & yes we were both pg before 30 only she had her baby while I gained an angel not knowing that would be the 1st of many ^i^’s not knowing the pain, the anger, disappointment, frustration the feeling of being a failure & most of all jealousy that would follow after experiencing my 2nd loss and be trailing behind me for the years to come. As the years moved on our friends have had their 1st or 2nd babies while we struggled with yet another loss. I felt alone because no one knew my/our pain they could not understand they tried but they would never know.
I find myself when we are around our friends that I watch them with a strong longing hoping it does not show on my face wishing it were I feeding, playing or trying to calm my screaming baby. I hear people complain about there children of how frustrated they are with them, I would take there spot in a second. I now everyone has there days but I also see people that always just look annoyed with there kids.
When we meet new people we don’t ask them if they have children because you just don’t know what their history is. I would not want to put another person in that spot if they are suffering the pain we have and still are. I don’t want to make their heart heavier I don’t want to make her tummy feel emptier. Because really that is the way we feel when asked you have no kids yet, what is taking so long? Really we are trying.
I feel I have become another person thru this journey; I have learnt to hold my head high keep my hope alive and have so much fear inside. Strange enough this journey has made me a better person, I have found new amazing friends and learned so many things that I just never would of known if I was not put on this path this journey. I now know I am not alone there are many women out there that have the same pain, we have been able to help each other when the others around do not know what to say or do for us.
It just still amazes me of what I did not know. You just don’t know your path in life you think your going one way then with a blink of an eye your going another way. I now don’t know what my future holds for me I hope to be a mummy one day soon and that is where I keep the “hope alive” when I really don’t know if I ever will be.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
A little about our Journey
We got married in Aug 2000
We have bee TTC our 1st baby since April 2000, unfortunately we have angles in Heaven instead of in our arms.
Here is a brief intro:
Discovered after 2 loss that I Have a Unicornuate Uterus (left side only) lost right non-commuting tube due to ectopic. Right ovary up buy my ribs, left behind uterus. I can only get pg from the left side.
^i^ @ 6weeks 8/24/00
^i^ @ 12weeks 6/7/01
^i^ @ 9weeks 11/6/02.. this one was an ep pg, baby was on my appendix. (had major surgery to remove the baby with the appendix also had metho shot to dissolve the placenta) had no pains indicating that something was wrong till U/S.
Was on Clomid 50mg for 4 months then clomid 100mg & had an IUI on August 24th 2003 which did the trick We Conceived.
Sadly to say
*Another Angel ^i^ was born to us*
William Clement A. was born to us silently on Dec 21, 2003 (He was 19weeks)
read about William in his Journal http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/beginnings
Was put back on 100mg clomid in March 2004 & surprisingly conceived again even tho I was told I ovulating on the wrong side.
We gained a new ^i^ on Aug 31/04 @ 10.5weeks Had D&C on Sept 8/04
"Mini-we" our baby Girl's Journal
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/miniwe
I wish we could have a baby but it looks as tho I only make ^i^'s I still have the hope that it will happen one day. We are exploring other options like Surrogacy
thanks for reading
We have bee TTC our 1st baby since April 2000, unfortunately we have angles in Heaven instead of in our arms.
Here is a brief intro:
Discovered after 2 loss that I Have a Unicornuate Uterus (left side only) lost right non-commuting tube due to ectopic. Right ovary up buy my ribs, left behind uterus. I can only get pg from the left side.
^i^ @ 6weeks 8/24/00
^i^ @ 12weeks 6/7/01
^i^ @ 9weeks 11/6/02.. this one was an ep pg, baby was on my appendix. (had major surgery to remove the baby with the appendix also had metho shot to dissolve the placenta) had no pains indicating that something was wrong till U/S.
Was on Clomid 50mg for 4 months then clomid 100mg & had an IUI on August 24th 2003 which did the trick We Conceived.
Sadly to say
*Another Angel ^i^ was born to us*
William Clement A. was born to us silently on Dec 21, 2003 (He was 19weeks)
read about William in his Journal http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/beginnings
Was put back on 100mg clomid in March 2004 & surprisingly conceived again even tho I was told I ovulating on the wrong side.
We gained a new ^i^ on Aug 31/04 @ 10.5weeks Had D&C on Sept 8/04
"Mini-we" our baby Girl's Journal
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/miniwe
I wish we could have a baby but it looks as tho I only make ^i^'s I still have the hope that it will happen one day. We are exploring other options like Surrogacy
thanks for reading
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Well I am back from yet another Fertility Clinic Dr appt.
It was funny because as I was sitting in the waiting area I could see my folder then other couples come in and their folders are put next to mine, well mine looks like a novel to them...lol
When the Dr came and got me I commented on how thick my folder is looking she laughed and said yeah we seem to be getting to know you well...lol then she went on to explain that they color code the folders for the year they/patient came in (which I noticed be cause mine is pink all the other were green & red) She said that way they know how long the patient is with them in 2003 the folders were yellow now there is no yellow left, meaning it was a successful year... I have been with them since 2001
The Dr said that they are stumped with me that they normally get a patient pg within a the year with a healthy baby at the end & that she also has a couple of staff members with a Unicornuate Uterus that even had Ectopic on the good tube side went on to IVF and carried babies with no problem, She even has one of the Dr’s dd as her patient that has a pencil thin UU and it did not look that she'd be able to carry a baby so they set her up with a surrogate but she then became pg and carried her baby to term. (She said that with that girl’s UU she had a hard time getting the HCG catheter in because it was that small) Dr said my UU looks good not to small but not so big.
I asked the Dr 4 questions:
1) Can I still do the IUI if I am not on the clomid?
She said “well yeah but chances are better with the clomid.” Then I said “Well our chance is still better if we do even if not on the clomid.”. She said “Yes, so does this mean you want to do the IUI the next couple of months while off clomid?” Of course I said, “Yes”
This makes me feel better since I still “Have a better chance”
2) I had a friend mention to me about MTHFR (Metylene-Tetra-Hydro-Folate-Reductase) http://www.fvleiden.org/ask/51.html , was I tested for that? Yes I was came back normal. (of course)
3) I asked about my uterus lining being thin? She said they are going to keep an I on it the next couple of months if it proves to not thicken most of the time they can fix it with meds, but if that does not work and if they can prove that my UU and lining won’t hold a baby I can go thru there surrogacy program. But she is confident that I/we will have our own baby one day and that it comes from my body. The 81mg of aspirin should also help the blood flow to the uterus.
4) I asked about my right Ovary because it to be becoming more dominate then the left? She said “that is confusing because when I had my Ectopic surgery in 2002 they remove some of the right ovary because I had a cysts on it also that my right is smaller then the left because it did not migrate down to where it should have been so like the right side of the uu it did not from right. So therefore it should not be the most dominate side because they have messed around next to it(I guess when they do that the ovary is not happy) So why is it still dominating over the left…..lord only knows.
She also has me set to see a specialist for when I become pg, she said some Dr’s do not know what to do with a pg women while she is on the IVIG program. ( I did not realize that IVIG was that confusing…lol)
So finally I left that clinic in good spirits with a little smile on my face knowing I am not doomed yet, she said we are taking steps and there are other steps to get you your baby.
So now I sit and wait for AF to find me, then onto IUI without the clomid.
And pray that my time has come to be a mummy & DH a daddy.
Some nice yummy cookies to you for reading all that...lol
When the Dr came and got me I commented on how thick my folder is looking she laughed and said yeah we seem to be getting to know you well...lol then she went on to explain that they color code the folders for the year they/patient came in (which I noticed be cause mine is pink all the other were green & red) She said that way they know how long the patient is with them in 2003 the folders were yellow now there is no yellow left, meaning it was a successful year... I have been with them since 2001
The Dr said that they are stumped with me that they normally get a patient pg within a the year with a healthy baby at the end & that she also has a couple of staff members with a Unicornuate Uterus that even had Ectopic on the good tube side went on to IVF and carried babies with no problem, She even has one of the Dr’s dd as her patient that has a pencil thin UU and it did not look that she'd be able to carry a baby so they set her up with a surrogate but she then became pg and carried her baby to term. (She said that with that girl’s UU she had a hard time getting the HCG catheter in because it was that small) Dr said my UU looks good not to small but not so big.
I asked the Dr 4 questions:
1) Can I still do the IUI if I am not on the clomid?
She said “well yeah but chances are better with the clomid.” Then I said “Well our chance is still better if we do even if not on the clomid.”. She said “Yes, so does this mean you want to do the IUI the next couple of months while off clomid?” Of course I said, “Yes”
This makes me feel better since I still “Have a better chance”
2) I had a friend mention to me about MTHFR (Metylene-Tetra-Hydro-Folate-Reductase) http://www.fvleiden.org/ask/51.html , was I tested for that? Yes I was came back normal. (of course)
3) I asked about my uterus lining being thin? She said they are going to keep an I on it the next couple of months if it proves to not thicken most of the time they can fix it with meds, but if that does not work and if they can prove that my UU and lining won’t hold a baby I can go thru there surrogacy program. But she is confident that I/we will have our own baby one day and that it comes from my body. The 81mg of aspirin should also help the blood flow to the uterus.
4) I asked about my right Ovary because it to be becoming more dominate then the left? She said “that is confusing because when I had my Ectopic surgery in 2002 they remove some of the right ovary because I had a cysts on it also that my right is smaller then the left because it did not migrate down to where it should have been so like the right side of the uu it did not from right. So therefore it should not be the most dominate side because they have messed around next to it(I guess when they do that the ovary is not happy) So why is it still dominating over the left…..lord only knows.
She also has me set to see a specialist for when I become pg, she said some Dr’s do not know what to do with a pg women while she is on the IVIG program. ( I did not realize that IVIG was that confusing…lol)
So finally I left that clinic in good spirits with a little smile on my face knowing I am not doomed yet, she said we are taking steps and there are other steps to get you your baby.
So now I sit and wait for AF to find me, then onto IUI without the clomid.
And pray that my time has come to be a mummy & DH a daddy.
Some nice yummy cookies to you for reading all that...lol
